nothing like you and i

we are two different people
in two different worlds...
we are two different people
with different thoughts...
at times i do not see it your way, do not understand your situations, or your feelings
but most of the time i do.

what about you?

i've given the effort to live in your world
i've took the time to learn and understand your world
i've lived around the loneliness of your world
yet, i've survived the extreme tortures of your world
and at times i was lost in your world
i never failed to thought of you...

now, what have you seen in mine?

*i know the distance is our worst enemy, but it's supposed to make us stronger...not drift us apart because i'm starting to feel so*

take the time to learn to hate

this is not the first time this is happening.
and it has to come back to the same question: WHY?

1) Why do you need to worry about something that is already out of your life for good?
2) Why do you keep thinking out of the box, but not LOOK what's outside the box?
3) Why can't you tell whose feelings you should care about more or should not care about at all?

the reason you might feel that way is because of what you did..your past..your regrets..
but there's a priority to which you should at least feel bad about or so to say..to worry.
the perfect word for you to ponder is responsibility.

if someone/something hates you for no reason, don't even give a damn about it because it is just a waste of time.
if someone/something hates you for a reason, think why.


you messed with her feelings but you broke my heart...
and i did not hate you for that..
but you worry more of her hatred rather than the deep sore in my heart...

Beyonce - If I were a boy

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think
that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)


It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong


But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (and you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…


a good piece of lyric

undeserved moments

remember you said TRUST was important?
remember you said i've lost your trust?
i do.
i have always put mine in you..
but the doubts tells me what i should know
after all i've done...you should at least start fresh..
which i thought you did..
im sorry for saying all these..
but the cut was too deep.
i will always think what i thought

tell me..
how could you not think of me when you texted her?
how could you not think of me when you called her?
when you got ready to go out?
when you were on your way to hers?
how could you NOT EVEN thought of me when you did what you're not supposed to?!

please tell me what did i do to deserve that pain?
tell me..

you made me really sad..
you really did

:"(

another beautiful lie

my feelings...my dreams..my instincts..were never wrong...

you, you and YOU

why is it when i do something wrong, it is such a BIG deal
but it is NOT when you did?

if i were to spoil it, it would have been a waste of my TIME and especially MONEY
but WHY would i?
because i WANT to be with you
and because i LOVE you so damn F-ing much

can't you SEE how MUCH i've done..
how much i've sacrificed..
how much i've changed for you?
i don't think so.

i just HOPE you would pay a little bit MORE attention under the surface
and not just what's happening above

!

what i want in Y.O.U

How do we know if she or he is ‘the one’? What makes us sure that this person is the one who we’ll build a family and grow old with? What are the desirable traits that one looks for in their soul mate? For sure almost all of us look for the same typical traits such as loving, kind, caring, sense of humour etc. in the ‘the one’. The good looks and big banks are merely just luck and a bonus. But, what do we really want in this ideal mate?

One of the traits that I would look for will be sincerity. His love has to be sincere because of who I am and not what I am. I don’t want someone to love me and shower me with love out of sympathy or out of any feelings of pity. Sincerity is important for me because the love comes right from the heart and not from desires. There were ups and downs in past (and present) relationships. There was honesty but such a small amount (or none) of sincerity. I don’t know why but I feel that ‘sincerity’ is a stronger word than ‘honesty’ although they pretty much bring similar meanings. However, I feel that honesty means being truthful and sincere means being pure.

Another trait would be sensitivity. I feel that he being sensitive would make me feel important and needed. I would want him to have jealousy but not possessiveness. I want him to care of how I present myself but not what I wear. I want him to know if I’m upset or happy…disappointed or pleased and would acknowledge it. I want him to shed a tear and not hold it back (a rational level of ego). I want him to share his thoughts and wanting me to be there to talk to, but not to keep it since communication is vital.

There’s so much more to list down the desirable traits of ‘the one’ which I, one day, want to refer as my other half. What I’ve mentioned above is one of the two important traits that I’m hoping to find in the soul mate. But I guess that is just me being feminine and that all the little things matters.


my assignment on 'Women in Literature - Femininity: What are the desirable traits in an ideal mate'

a perfect denial

i wish i didn't have to know
i wish i didn't have to find out
and i wish i never got carried away
i didn't want to believe what i know
didn't want to believe what i found out
and i shouldn't have got carried away
yet, i am glad i knew
i am glad i found out
and i am glad i got carried away

the day i stepped out the door
only soon i realize, i was twice a fool
i've hurt myself for too long
but what you did was more than what i did to you

it's a beautiful lie...such a perfect denial

what is heard and spoken

sometimes i wish you could be who you said you are
sometimes i wish the same for myself
but i don't ever hide it
not from anyone..not from you.

how could you say you miss me
when you're missing someone else?
how could you promise you'll hold me tight
when someone else is in your arms?
how could you be with someone
when i kept myself for you?

how could you?


what i have now is a secret..
and that secret is your sweetest secret.

w-o-r-d-s

it's funny how some of us are clever with words..
words that will make you feel that there's hope
or even worse, make you think deep to the core of the earth

when words are spoken...we listen
when words are heard...we take it in
when words are taken...we make mistakes and regret


human beings are the hardest species to understand emotionally..
words are just words
but the intention is different..
the intention that makes you a fool
a fool who is dumb enough to believe things that are not impossible
things that would just bring you back down to the ground
but hey, that's okay..
that's what makes us stronger


don't you just agree
that words are just words?


you're pathetic

Under your spell

we were once just friends
we were once so close
we were once deeply in love
we were once lost in each other's world

you once made me smile all day in my heart
you once made me feel the things i've not felt before
you once made me feel so loved
and then, you once made me make promises i can't keep
because all i needed was more time

for months now,
i was once sore in the heart and in the mind
i was once crying myself to sleep every night
i was once trying too hard
i was once felt used
i was once a damn fool to fall for your charms

i am back on my toes
i am finally free from all the above
i am glad that it is finally over

and, i was once under your spell
although i am going to miss it..
most of all
i am going to miss you
and you know..
you will always have a place in my heart

sometimes..

i wonder..
if you knew what i'm thinking
sometimes i wonder..
if you knew that this time i am for real
sometimes i wonder..
if you knew how i feel

i am sorry...
for everything that i've done to you
we both know that you don't deserve what i have done
....
so sorry..i am...

TGIF...

and i had to explode in class..
it was a wrong day..
experiencing extreme PMS!
and they just had to pull the pin!

it's funny that if i had to recall this day..
it'll only be in four year's time
because the 29th of february can only happen four years later

i seriously can't wait for the 28th of march...
the end of my practicum days!

Hope

i never knew we could happen
i never knew i'd do anything for you
i never knew i needed you this much
i never knew we had our own tree
i never knew we had our own song
i never knew you sent me a teddy
i never knew how much you missed me
i never knew how much you loved me
i never knew you wanted to see me again
i never knew you cried


i know we could start over again
i know we could be what we said we'd be
i know we could have been so much more
i know we could love each other eternally
i know we could be...


i hope you think of me
i hope you dream of me
i wish it didn't take too long
i wish we didn't have to suffer like this
i wish i didn't have to suffer like this